Memories from Wayne on October 28th 2009

I have taken the day off today to stay home and read through this blog, look at all the pictures, and watch the video of the funeral. This has been a bitter-sweet time, an avalanche of memories and their accompanying emotions indeed. Truly, one cannot live in the past, but this blog has provided me and others a vehicle to go back in time and visit, being able to stop at these precious viewpoints along the road and linger, the mind wandering off into other memories that the viewpoint brought to mind, and then get back in the car and go to the next of these many viewpoints. The great thing here, is that the Lord’s voice is still heard loud and clear in the scriptures quoted throughout, in some ways even clearer now. Christy’s silent testimony that she rendered by just living in sync with the Lord Jesus also still speaks, I am so thankful that others have captured by their comments here in this blog of what was silently so powerful in her life. As the apostle Paul put it in Colossians 1:27 “which is Christ in you the hope of glory.”

There is not a day that Christy does not come to my mind in some way, she has formed much of the fabric of the life that we now live. Her children and grandchildren have traces of her character, and are the fruit of her and our prayers. Even Priority Appliance Service bears the impress of her fingers behind the scenes, she was so involved in the setup of the company as far as moral principles, it was the persons that she cared about, not the business side as much. She prayed so intently for each one that worked with us. Those that have joined our ranks in the last 2 years are likely not aware of this woman of God that cared so much for the environment that they would eventually come to work in.

I the last eight months that I spent with Christy, I was amazed at how she cared so much for those that she was leaving behind. There are persons (that will not be named here), that she prayed for intensely on a daily basis, some at work, some neighbours, some friends, etc. Primarily these were persons that had not at that time come to know Jesus as Lord and Saviour. From her place of communion with God and the resulting security that she had, she seemed to have a profound sense of sorrow and pain for them, knowing that they may someday step out into eternal darkness and judgment, naked and alone. To one I heard her say, “if by means of my death you could know the fulfillment of knowing Jesus as Lord of your life, I would gladly die right now here before you.” I was deeply affected by those words at the time, and still turn them over in my mind.

Christy carried another care, it was for her husband, what would become of him as a widower. In the last 8 months of her life, and of our time together we talked about everything that we could possibly talk about before being separated. I did not realize what she was doing at the time, but in many of those conversations she was preparing me for the next leg of my journey with an uncanny, almost prophetic sense of what was coming. There were discussions about our children, grandchildren, my diet, exercise, service for the Lord, and many of the things of life as a widower. I admit to not liking those discussions much as I didn’t like the idea of borrowing from the future’s troubles, the ones I was dealing with at the time were about as painful as I could handle. Probably the most difficult were the discussions in which she insisted that I be open to being remarried, she could see it, she could see the kind of person, and told me all about her. It was impossible for me to comprehend that at the time. I realize now that the Lord in His awesome wisdom directed her/us into those discussions to prepare me for what was to come. As I see it now in retrospect, Christy in her unselfish love, so perfectly set me free. She was being set free of everything here and was moving on to be entirely His in His heavenly home. I think now that she was careful to not leave me with any outstanding obligations to her. She was commending me to another lover if it was the Lord’s will. Those of you that are close to me now, know that this has happened in a way that is impossible to comprehend without the word miracle written over it all. Whatever Christy saw or perceived, or hoped for, has been exceeded in a way that deepens the meaning of mercy and grace in our souls. The words from John 2:10 speak eloquently and capture the sense of awe. “ but THOU hast kept the good wine until now.” I have always known that God is love, that he is exceedingly good, even when He allows suffering. But His goodness and grace in bring Kasia and I together now as man and wife, and as fellow labourers in God’s house, it is just so like God to do such a thing!

Kasia and I had my dad, Stephen and Jeff and their families over this afternoon and for dinner, as a little commemoration of Christy. As we talked, we sure were conscious of the legacy that she has left us. It is everywhere, even in Nathan, he was wearing a little sweater that Christy bought for Jeff when he was a little tyke, I remember it so well.

The sweetest thought of all regarding Christy is that she is actually and really conscious in the immediate presence of our Lord Jesus Christ, that is heaven, anywhere that He is.

2 Corintians 5:6 Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord: For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say and willing rather to be absent from the body, and present with the Lord.

Sincere thanks to all from Wayne

I would like to take this opportunity to sincerely thank all of you that sent such appropriate and comforting cards, letters, scripture verses, email messages, posts to the blog, and phone calls. I am sorry that I have been unable to respond individually to each one. My daughter-in-love, Susie has arranged the cards in a huge scrap book for me. You have been used by God to bring tremendous comfort to my heart. With certainty I can say that I have experienced the answers to your prayers. I offer my thanks, praise and worship to God the Father, and His Son Jesus Christ for the way in which I have been carried through the storm. “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them that are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3+4

The journey is not over yet, so please continue to pray for contentedness and quietness of heart, I need to be in the good of Psalm 131:2 “Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that is weaned of his mother: my soul is even as a weaned child.” It is good for us all to participate with our Father is His wise ways of weaning us from what His wisdom and love sees fit to remove or deny in our lives down here.

in Christ,



Wayne

Links to audio of funeral service

Direct links to a voice recording of the funeral service in addition to the video are available in the following formats on the recorded ministry website:

Listen live now using Real Audio http://www.recordedministry.com/christy/christy.ram
High quality MP3 file download http://www.recordedministry.com/christy/christy.mp3
Low quality MP3 file download http://www.recordedministry.com/christy/christy-low.mp3

Wayne

1 Month now without Christy...

It was a tearful morning today as so many memories came rushing back, especially when I heard the song I posted yesterday. The song takes me back to the very moment that the Lord Jesus released Christy from her body and took her into His immediate awesome presence. It was so clearly Jesus that was calling His dear Christy away, she was at that moment all for Him, she ceased to be mine. Believe it or not, this is still ok with me. I am so glad that they are both enjoying each other right now. As I reflect today on how she travelled through the valley of the shadow of death with all of it's suffering, it still amazes me how she did it so beautifully, so gracefully. As hard as it was for me, I am overcome with gratefulness to God for leading her/us so gently, resulting in her participating with Him in her very own death as a willing partner to His victorious plan.

Many are asking "how is Wayne doing? he needs to keep posting on this blog a bit longer." I will give a short answer here, but in days to come will post more. I will be travelling to Manitoba with Marlin Schmidt this Friday returning next Thursday, so may write some on the road.

I am doing very well, my heart and mind have been filled with praise and thanksgiving to God for all the way that He has led Christy and I in the last 30 years. It is just so awesome to reflect on the privilege of Christy's company and her spiritual companionship through the years, I have so many beautiful memories. I have pictures of her everywhere, and the casket lid is here in my living room, that may seem weird to some of you, but it is a comfort to me. It has a scripture painted in gold, "in thy presence is fullness of joy, at thy right hand are pleasures for evermore" Psalm 16:11, along with many other precious verses are slowly healing me.

I am enjoying the quiet here in this house by the ocean, it is very peaceful. I do not have any problems sleeping or being lonely at night, except when I read Christy's journals before sleeping. For about 10 days I was reading one journal a night and crying myself to sleep, but have quit now, there will be another time when I can do that.

I am cooking very healthy as Christy taught me (all organic of course :) not eating at restaurants hardly at all. But I do need to get back to Pilades and more importantly back on my bike soon, as I am a backslidden cyclist, I put my bikes away for the last couple of years while nursing Christy. She was always after to me to go out and ride to blow off steam, but my time with her was more important to me. It was a very small sacrifice. Will aim for ~30km a day to start, by summer I need to be able to do 130 km once a week without hurting. I am praying about spending a week cycling through the Okanagen valley with a light pack, a bible, and a credit card in the late summer.

I am keeping busy with lots of things around the house that have been neglected. I also need to spend one-on-one time with our technicians at Priority, it has been a long time that I have been away from them. Everyone at Priority has been so incredibly supportive. We also have some new techs lined up as possibile candidates to start working with us, this is a large undertaking.

It is late, must quit now and hit the bed.

New Song Added

We have changed the background music to 'Hear The Voice of My Beloved' by Cynthia Clawson. The control for it is on the left side bar. [note: this has since been removed]
This song was sent to me by a dear sister in the Lord, I have enjoyed it so much and wanted to share it with you here. It seems to be a scriptural expression of the heart of our Lord Jesus in His desire to have us with Himself, it also reflects on Christy's desire to be with him.
It was a long journey through the dark valley for us, but as we learned to participate with the Lord in what he was doing with us, there formed a sweetness that was, well, almost romantic, this song adds the music to our experience. I feel the loss of my sweet companion in the journey keenly, but have been filled with joy truly unspeakable. I can now say that I know with Peter what it is to walk on water (walking on water has only one purpose, that is, to get to Jesus). Christy heard the call of her Beloved to come away into His awesome presence, I now hear the same call to walk the rest of the journey leaning on Him more intimately. 'In the multitude of my thoughts within me Thy comforts delight my soul' Psalm 94:19.

Home at last!

Dear all,

The Lord took my dear Christy home tonight. She had been in a coma all day, the family was in and spent the afternoon with us. When they left I read the Scriptures to her, (they say that the person in a coma can hear) Christy’s breathing became increasingly laboured into the evening, it was very hard to watch her like that. I asked the Lord to free the sweet prisoner from her body, then I told her to just let go and Jesus would take her. Within a few minutes she was much calmer, but was breathing only twice a minute, then one last small breath at 8:58 PM. Very peaceful, seemed so easy….. for her.

I will not go into how I feel right now, no words seem to be available that work properly. Lots of tears. Grown men do cry by the way.....

Update Oct 25, 2007

It appears that the stable "plateau" that Christy has been on for the last 3 weeks is over now, she has taken another step down. This is apparently how the disease progresses, like going down steps, with sometimes plateaus between steps. The steps down seem to be very marked increases in the disease claiming the resources of the body.

For the last four or five days Christy has been sleeping a lot more, and when awake she has notably lost significant mental clarity; she's very confused, and yet very happy in her spirit. She seems not to be able to carry on much of a conversation at all, except for showing great delight and pleasure that she has been spoken to or visited. The staff here at the hospice have noticed it and advised the doctor. He spoke of more drugs to help with that condition, but I am concerned about this, and would not want to trade her present peaceful situation for an attempt at more alertness and possible negative side affects of anxiousness. We will review the situation tomorrow.

I have seen this before, this inability to connect the dots in conversation... in my dear Mom as she descended into the darkness of Alzheimer's, except in her case there was a lot of fear connected with it. In Christy's case there seems to be perfect peace -- it is incredible, really! She at the present has no comprehension of what is going on around her, apart from her desire to be free of the body and be present with Jesus, this she is able to speak of somewhat.

The morphine dosage was increased 40% yesterday as the pain has been building. This seems to have worked, as only one breakthrough injection was needed in the afternoon yesterday.

Update

October 20, 2007
About 3 weeks ago Christy's blood sugar went up quite high (25.5), they said that the steriods have damaged her pancreas and she has become diabetic. The doctor gave her drugs to control it, then stopped administering it as he realized that it was not consistent with her request. No more blood sugar checks have been made. They say that it would likely spike again and she would go into a coma. This has not happened, she appears to be on a plateau again. There is no evidence of cancer spread to the vital organs. Due to only eating a little fruit here and there, she has now lost what looks to me like all muscle and fat, she is just skin and bones. Other than her head and arms, she cannot move her self in bed, even though she has slight sensory feeling in her legs, there is often pain in her right knee, a large tumor has taken over the knee. Being that she is so thin I can plainly see the tumors on her ribs and arm also. The Lord has somehow enabled me to see her like this without falling apart, I don't understand how He has done this in me, but am very thankful for His mercy. Her spirit is so bright and sweet, no complaints at all. She is sleeping at the moment with a beautiful smile on her face, breaking into a grin at times. She is dreaming of something, I wish I knew what it is... she won't be able to remember in order to tell me. She is just happy.
Wayne

The story of Christy, by Wayne

Christy’s mother, born in 1918, was appropriately named Faith. She, with her mother Bessie, went to South Africa from England at 16 years old on a family inheritance to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. While in South Africa, Faith was written to by a former acquaintance in England named Richard Haws. They had a long-distance courtship and he proposed, ring and all, via mail. She accepted his proposal, and he moved to Africa to marry her shortly after. They lived in Sabie, Transval, South Africa, where Christy was born on August 17, 1956. Christy had an older sister, Mary, and a younger brother, Paul, both of whom are still currently living.

Christy had many sweet memories of her early years in Africa, particularly of her Grannie. Grannie was a devoted servant of the Lord Jesus, a godly woman, and was such a kind and loving soul, that to know her was to love her. Both Christy’s mother and grandmother modeled the love of God to Christy, so as to deeply impress her with eternal realities. This godly heritage reminds me of the apostle Paul writing to Timothy, where he says, “I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and in thy mother Eunice, and I am persuaded that in thee also.” 2 Timothy 1:5. Those of us that know Christy have also seen this “unfeigned faith” and devotion toward God, along with an uncommon sweetness toward her fellow man.

Christy’s father decided that they should leave Africa to see his dad back in Canada as he had become quite sick. So the little Haws family left Africa for Canada on Mary’s birthday, April 14, 1965. Christy was 9 years old when they eventually settled in a little cottage in White Rock, BC.

It was about this time that Christy accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as her personal Savior according to Ephesians 2:8 & 9,"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast."
When she was about 14 years old Christy was challenged by a godly pastor to not just believe his preaching, but to prove all things in the Word of God. She accepted this challenge and the Lord really opened His Word to her. She just kept yielding more and more to this wonderful God, the eternal lover of her soul. This challenge to prove everything by the Word of God eventually led her out of man-made denominational Christianity, to be gathered simply to the name of Jesus Christ in early 1977.

The summer of 1972 after graduating from high school Christy went to Montreal to help with an evangelical door-to-door outreach that traveled throughout Quebec. Later that year, Christy went to a Bible college near Abbotsford, BC.

In the summer of 1973 Christy was sent to the Yukon to relieve a pastor and his wife that went on holidays for two months. She found herself having to pastor the church, taking the services, etc. She just shared the joy of her life, Jesus, from the Bible.

When Christy returned to the city she was accepted into nurses training at the Vancouver General Hospital. After about a year she realized this was not a career fit for her at all. Christy started working at Bank Cheque Supply in Vancouver.

In those days it was my habit to spend the bus ride to work reading my beloved Bible. One day on the bus, I noticed a girl with long beautiful hair reading a big Bible on the bus. When the passenger next to her got off at his stop, I sat beside her. I noticed her wearing a button that said, "I am eternally grateful to Jesus." I have never forgotten the impression that she made on me that day. I had never met a girl so in love with the Lord Jesus, so full of His Word, such a sweet spirit about her. I was deeply moved. But our paths did not cross again for about six months. During this time I had been praying that I would get to meet her again. As the months went by I told the Lord that as He had showed me His best, I would be better off single than to settle for anything less than His best. One awesome day in December of 1976 Christy came and sat beside me, on my bus. I later learned from Christy that she had been praying about meeting me again too.

I realized early on, and clearly too, that I would never be the only lover in Christy's life, neither would I have the first place in her heart, that place would always be reserved for Jesus. Christy has always been other-worldly; the Lord had really captured her heart and gone away to heaven with it.

We were married Nov 7th, 1977, and a little over a year later our first son Stephen was born February 14th, 1979. Christy called him “Sunshine” with his bubbly laugh and bright blue eyes. But Christy longed for another child. Finally, on January 1st, 1982, when Stephen was almost three, we welcomed little Jeffrey into our world. Jeff was a delightfully fat baby with huge cheeks and lots of rolls and dimples. We didn’t know it then, but our family was complete, with two little boys to fill our lives with joy. Christy really wanted more children, but her health was failing. She had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome that had set in shortly after Jeff was born.

In the years following, life was really quite difficult, for she was extremely tired all the time, had food allergies to almost everything, and suffered chronic poor health. We lived in a house full of mold, etc. In spite of this handicap, Christy home schooled Stephen and Jeff at a time when it was very unpopular and considered weird to do so. There was little support available, and very few friends understood. Christy’s love for her boys was the fire that kept her going, she would rather die than give up what she believed to be her calling. In my estimation she succeeded, the evidence cannot be challenged, as in Proverbs 31:28 “Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” She literally, in love, gave the best that she had to give for her children, and did what she wholeheartedly believed to be God's will for her family.

We had begun to realize that the wet, moldy house that we lived in may be at least partly responsible for Christy’s poor health. I was beginning to think that I was going to lose my precious wife. These were hard years that brought us to our knees often, looking to the Lord to help us. The Lord graciously opened the way for us to buy a house in Richmond. Christy’s health did slowly start to improve.

One of the things that we asked the Lord about in connection with having a house of our own, was that we would be able to use our home to care for people in need. Shortly after we moved to Heather street, people came to us one after the other, sometimes two at a time. Some would stay for a few weeks, some a year or so. Christy and I loved these years of ministering to others. We recently received a letter from Phil Brown who stayed at our place at a time of crisis in his life. His letter is posted on this blog, please read it, it is entitled simply ‘letter from Phil Brown.’

Christy loved the outdoors and preferred gardening over housework any day. We had many very happy times wandering on trails in the mountains. In later years we did a lot of mountain biking together, such as the Kettle Valley railway from Myra Canyon to Naramata in the interior of BC. A romantic day for Christy would be walking hand in hand down a trail with birds twittering in the trees, over pretty much anything else. She was very fit in those days, running or walking miles every day with our German Shepherd dog, Mitsy.

In 2004 we moved from the house on Heather Street to the far west side of Richmond, quite near the famous dike trail that surrounds Richmond. Christy became known to many people that walked on that dike daily, as she could be seen walking very fast in her long flowing colorful skirts, her long wavy greying hair gracing her slight build. She had a smile for everyone; I have been amazed at just how many people knew her in the area. The area is a bird sanctuary; it was also a sanctuary for Christy, and she enjoyed it so much.

Christy was diagnosed with breast cancer in September 2005. She refused chemotherapy as her white blood cell count was too low, but was treated with radiation from November 2005 to Jan 2006 and then surgery on February 14th, 2006. This was a very dark time for Christy, and she suffered much from the effects of radiation, especially fatigue and anxiety. We are so grateful that she was not subjected to the additional torture of chemotherapy, and from what we later learned she would not have survived the ordeal. After her recovery from surgery, things were brighter, and the battle seemed to be over for a while. In fact, the day after the surgery, when I brought her home, she insisted on going for a walk on her beloved dike! We walked 2 miles that day; I was amazed how she kept going.

We began to sense that all was not well in April 2006 when she developed persistent rib pains, then later in August her knee pain started. This pain spread to her mid back and by February of 2007 it was unbearable. This was probably one of the hardest times of her illness, as she endured great pain and discomfort without knowing what was causing it, and no one understood what was going on. We were desperate to get answers. She pursued various doctors and discovered they all had their own opinion, but none seemed to clue in to what was really happening. Some doctors seemed to feel it was something to do with radiation side effects. It got so bad by early February that Christy was unable to get out of bed on her own, and the pain was so intense it kept her from sleeping. She spent many nights weeping and wondering what was wrong with her.

On February 13, 2007 a naturopath called me with results of a routine blood test and said to drop everything and get Christy to emergency as she had severe hypercalcaemia. Once at the hospital, the doctors put the picture together quickly, and after doing some tests to confirm, they broke the news that the breast cancer had spread to the bones and was advanced, resulting in blood calcium levels being extremely high. She was apparently very close to kidney failure. The calcium levels were treated and Christy was put on pain medication and sent home under palliative care. She was given a prognosis of about 6 months to live.

It initially took only a few anxious hours for her to adjust to the news that she would be dying soon. It was unmistakable to me that she felt the fight was over - not lost, just over. She said of all of her years of research and chasing expensive remedies, treatments, etc… “I am finally free of all that.” Christy made it very clear to the doctors that nothing should be done to prolong her life here on earth. Christy realized that this news of her terminal condition was really the Lord calling her to come home. The Bible verse that Jesus gave to her at that time was from The Song of Solomon 2:10 “My beloved spake and and said unto me, Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.” This has captivated her heart from that time till the present.

Through the mercy of God our business had grown to the point where I was able to leave and care for Christy at home. I am indebted to the office staff and technicians for keeping the bus on track at http://www.priorityappliance.com/ (Those of you at Priority may never know how much this has meant to Christy and me.) Over the next few months Christy had quite a few radiation treatments to her spine, ribs, hips, and knees to slow the growth of tumors in those areas. The first of these treatments helped her with pain and mobility greatly, but the later treatments were not much use. The second radiation treatment damaged her stomach lining, and she suffered horrible nausea, vomiting and pain. She was put on steroid drugs to help with the inflammation and pain. Soon after this bout, she recovered and for the next few months she actually grew much better! Whether it was due to the radiation/temporary use of steroids or divine intervention, from about mid-May to July she enjoyed a wonderful reprieve. A 'plateau' they called it. Her energy improved, her pain was very minimal, and we went from 72 mg of Hydromorphone a day to 9 mg. As to the duration of this “plateau” the doctors and nurses had no explanation. One nurse clearly told us that there was no other explanation but God! She said with David in Psalm 71:7 & 8 " I am as a wonder to many; but Thou art my strong refuge. Let my mouth be filled with Thy praise and with Thy honor all the day." Her mobility was such that she went for many walks in the neighbourhood and the nearby dike trail. She was able to even drive herself to her sons’ house in Surrey and had an enjoyable though bittersweet visit with her children and grandchildren at the end of May.


As the months went on, she gradually got weaker, and by early September she was unable to make it up and down the stairs and go out for her walks, even with help. Also, being in the wheelchair caused great pain for her, so she became housebound. The pain continued to increase, as did the need for steroids and morphine. She quickly increased to 108mg of Hydromorphone plus breakthrough meds each day. But through all this time as her body grew weaker, her faith grew stronger and the hope of being with her Lord grew brighter and more real! She spent many of her waking hours when she did not have visitors reading or praying, and she experienced complete peace about her circumstances. Not once did she complain bitterly about how unfair it was that she had cancer, and as the disease progressed, so did the sweetness and patience with which she endured her suffering. Around this time her longing to be with her Lord overcame every tie on earth. As far as regrets go, one of the hardest things for dear Christy, having been so richly filled with mother-love, has been the thought of leaving her family. We have both enjoyed parenting, our hearts have been enlarged and taken to the limit in every way through the years, it has been a rich sharing of joy. By the grace of God we have seen the Lord bring two of the sweetest girls in existence just for our boys. Susie and Heidi have become our treasured daughter-in-loves. We now have three granddaughters from Stephen and Susie, and one grandson from Jeff and Heidi (and another one on the way). It has been hard for her to think of leaving these precious ones behind, but thankfully the Lord has recently given her peace about this too.


On Saturday morning of September 23, I left Christy briefly to pick up a brother from the airport. Christy attempted to make it to the on-suite bathroom, she fell onto her back, and could not move. She was wearing a lifeline at the time, pressed the button, the dispatcher called me, I came home quickly and found her on the floor unable to move. Soon after, she was taken by ambulance to the palliative ward of the hospital. Tests showed that vertebrae 5 through 9 were destroyed, and vertebra 9 had been completely replaced by tumor. Likely the tumor had impinged the spinal cord, causing her to lose control of her legs and fall. The doctors told her that likely her legs would soon be paralyzed, bowel and bladder control were gone now. She was fully ready to go then, seeing little point of remaining on earth. But about a week after being in the hospital she was transferred to a hospice facility run by the Salvation Army, and there she has remained, telling others about Jesus whenever she has an opportunity. Since September 23rd she eats nothing but a little bit of watermelon, and drinks various juices and lots of water. As far as it goes she is stable, there hasn’t been much further change. As I sit by her bedside in the evenings, she drifts in and out of sleep, I now notice that her breathing rate drops to 5 breaths a minute during sleep. . . seems very slow to me. When visitors come to encourage her, she is quite bright, lights on high-beam, huge smiles.

I asked her the other day, "why are you still here, my love?" She said, “I am here to bring honor to my Lord and Savior Jesus, and that means I am here just to thank Him and praise Him.” Her prayer request from the beginning of this disease and suffering has been, “ that I would not do anything to dishonor the precious name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and that through my suffering and eventual death, many people would know the love of Christ, which passes knowledge, and be filled with all the fullness of God.” You can read about this in Ephesians 3:19. She is waiting for Him to say “Rise up, my love, my fair one and come away.” Song of Solomon 2:10 If this means her death, I feel that I would, if I could, step into the flame and go up with her. But, although death for Christy is a present reality, there is an even brighter hope in her soul… That is that the promised return of the Lord Jesus Christ in the rapture could take place before she dies. See 1 Thessalonians 4:13 – 18. Christy has not shown one sign of self pity, but she has shown an ever-increasing desire that everyone around her would know Jesus as Lord and be ready to die with peace and meet God even as she is.


Well, dear brothers and sisters in Christ, Priority Crew, friends, neighbors, this is my Christy, my lover and my friend. By faith alone I open my hand after these 30 years together, and prepare to release her to a known and trusted friend, Jesus Christ, my Lord.

We trust in "Him that is able to do far exceedingly above all which we ask or think, according to the power which works in us, to Him be glory in the assembly in Christ Jesus unto all generations of the age of ages. Amen" Ephesians 3:20 & 21 JND NT.

"As for God His way is perfect" Psalm 18:30.