Update October 27, 2007

I received a phone call today from the hospice advising me that I should come quickly, as Christy's breathing was erratic with long pauses, and she has a fever now. The nurse says that the fever may not be as much an infection as the process of dying.

Ohhhh, I am finding this so very hard now, Christy is only rarely able to respond to any conversation now. And when she does it is only a word or two like, "Oh, honey" and a big smile to go with it. She sure can smile nice. Sometimes there are garbled words that I can't make out.

I miss the intelligent conversation that I am so used to, the companionship; I am realizing that part is over now. Maybe I have taken for granted the privilege of having someone so sweet, so close for all these years. As this disease progressed, Christy steadily lost mobility and the ability for us to do things together went with it. But we still had each other, that is what has been so great for me, I still had her, sharp, witty, loving, and devoted, her. Now the interface (so to speak) isn't working, she is moving on. The last bit of intelligence from her lips was, "I am going to be with Jesus," she said it over about 5 times earlier today. She is in the in-between place of being more occupied with Him than me, it is as it should be, she is almost there.

So as I think about Who she is going to, and where she is going, and that this is really about her being fulfilled, my pain subsides.....

As I recall the tender mercies of the Lord thru all this valley of the shadow of death that we have walked together, I realize that the same Lord who has upheld Christy and I so far, will carry me closer than He ever has on the other side of this loss.

Now I express another ohhhhh, this time because the comforts of the Lord Jesus flood my soul, I am soooo thankful for His redeeming love. Now I can go home to bed.

Wayne