Dear all,
The Lord took my dear Christy home tonight. She had been in a coma all day, the family was in and spent the afternoon with us. When they left I read the Scriptures to her, (they say that the person in a coma can hear) Christy’s breathing became increasingly laboured into the evening, it was very hard to watch her like that. I asked the Lord to free the sweet prisoner from her body, then I told her to just let go and Jesus would take her. Within a few minutes she was much calmer, but was breathing only twice a minute, then one last small breath at 8:58 PM. Very peaceful, seemed so easy….. for her.
I will not go into how I feel right now, no words seem to be available that work properly. Lots of tears. Grown men do cry by the way.....
Showing posts with label Updates on Christy's condition. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Updates on Christy's condition. Show all posts
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Update October 27, 2007
I received a phone call today from the hospice advising me that I should come quickly, as Christy's breathing was erratic with long pauses, and she has a fever now. The nurse says that the fever may not be as much an infection as the process of dying.
Ohhhh, I am finding this so very hard now, Christy is only rarely able to respond to any conversation now. And when she does it is only a word or two like, "Oh, honey" and a big smile to go with it. She sure can smile nice. Sometimes there are garbled words that I can't make out.
I miss the intelligent conversation that I am so used to, the companionship; I am realizing that part is over now. Maybe I have taken for granted the privilege of having someone so sweet, so close for all these years. As this disease progressed, Christy steadily lost mobility and the ability for us to do things together went with it. But we still had each other, that is what has been so great for me, I still had her, sharp, witty, loving, and devoted, her. Now the interface (so to speak) isn't working, she is moving on. The last bit of intelligence from her lips was, "I am going to be with Jesus," she said it over about 5 times earlier today. She is in the in-between place of being more occupied with Him than me, it is as it should be, she is almost there.
So as I think about Who she is going to, and where she is going, and that this is really about her being fulfilled, my pain subsides.....
As I recall the tender mercies of the Lord thru all this valley of the shadow of death that we have walked together, I realize that the same Lord who has upheld Christy and I so far, will carry me closer than He ever has on the other side of this loss.
Now I express another ohhhhh, this time because the comforts of the Lord Jesus flood my soul, I am soooo thankful for His redeeming love. Now I can go home to bed.
Wayne
Ohhhh, I am finding this so very hard now, Christy is only rarely able to respond to any conversation now. And when she does it is only a word or two like, "Oh, honey" and a big smile to go with it. She sure can smile nice. Sometimes there are garbled words that I can't make out.
I miss the intelligent conversation that I am so used to, the companionship; I am realizing that part is over now. Maybe I have taken for granted the privilege of having someone so sweet, so close for all these years. As this disease progressed, Christy steadily lost mobility and the ability for us to do things together went with it. But we still had each other, that is what has been so great for me, I still had her, sharp, witty, loving, and devoted, her. Now the interface (so to speak) isn't working, she is moving on. The last bit of intelligence from her lips was, "I am going to be with Jesus," she said it over about 5 times earlier today. She is in the in-between place of being more occupied with Him than me, it is as it should be, she is almost there.
So as I think about Who she is going to, and where she is going, and that this is really about her being fulfilled, my pain subsides.....
As I recall the tender mercies of the Lord thru all this valley of the shadow of death that we have walked together, I realize that the same Lord who has upheld Christy and I so far, will carry me closer than He ever has on the other side of this loss.
Now I express another ohhhhh, this time because the comforts of the Lord Jesus flood my soul, I am soooo thankful for His redeeming love. Now I can go home to bed.
Wayne
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Update Oct 25, 2007
It appears that the stable "plateau" that Christy has been on for the last 3 weeks is over now, she has taken another step down. This is apparently how the disease progresses, like going down steps, with sometimes plateaus between steps. The steps down seem to be very marked increases in the disease claiming the resources of the body.
For the last four or five days Christy has been sleeping a lot more, and when awake she has notably lost significant mental clarity; she's very confused, and yet very happy in her spirit. She seems not to be able to carry on much of a conversation at all, except for showing great delight and pleasure that she has been spoken to or visited. The staff here at the hospice have noticed it and advised the doctor. He spoke of more drugs to help with that condition, but I am concerned about this, and would not want to trade her present peaceful situation for an attempt at more alertness and possible negative side affects of anxiousness. We will review the situation tomorrow.
I have seen this before, this inability to connect the dots in conversation... in my dear Mom as she descended into the darkness of Alzheimer's, except in her case there was a lot of fear connected with it. In Christy's case there seems to be perfect peace -- it is incredible, really! She at the present has no comprehension of what is going on around her, apart from her desire to be free of the body and be present with Jesus, this she is able to speak of somewhat.
The morphine dosage was increased 40% yesterday as the pain has been building. This seems to have worked, as only one breakthrough injection was needed in the afternoon yesterday.
For the last four or five days Christy has been sleeping a lot more, and when awake she has notably lost significant mental clarity; she's very confused, and yet very happy in her spirit. She seems not to be able to carry on much of a conversation at all, except for showing great delight and pleasure that she has been spoken to or visited. The staff here at the hospice have noticed it and advised the doctor. He spoke of more drugs to help with that condition, but I am concerned about this, and would not want to trade her present peaceful situation for an attempt at more alertness and possible negative side affects of anxiousness. We will review the situation tomorrow.
I have seen this before, this inability to connect the dots in conversation... in my dear Mom as she descended into the darkness of Alzheimer's, except in her case there was a lot of fear connected with it. In Christy's case there seems to be perfect peace -- it is incredible, really! She at the present has no comprehension of what is going on around her, apart from her desire to be free of the body and be present with Jesus, this she is able to speak of somewhat.
The morphine dosage was increased 40% yesterday as the pain has been building. This seems to have worked, as only one breakthrough injection was needed in the afternoon yesterday.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Update
October 20, 2007
About 3 weeks ago Christy's blood sugar went up quite high (25.5), they said that the steriods have damaged her pancreas and she has become diabetic. The doctor gave her drugs to control it, then stopped administering it as he realized that it was not consistent with her request. No more blood sugar checks have been made. They say that it would likely spike again and she would go into a coma. This has not happened, she appears to be on a plateau again. There is no evidence of cancer spread to the vital organs. Due to only eating a little fruit here and there, she has now lost what looks to me like all muscle and fat, she is just skin and bones. Other than her head and arms, she cannot move her self in bed, even though she has slight sensory feeling in her legs, there is often pain in her right knee, a large tumor has taken over the knee. Being that she is so thin I can plainly see the tumors on her ribs and arm also. The Lord has somehow enabled me to see her like this without falling apart, I don't understand how He has done this in me, but am very thankful for His mercy. Her spirit is so bright and sweet, no complaints at all. She is sleeping at the moment with a beautiful smile on her face, breaking into a grin at times. She is dreaming of something, I wish I knew what it is... she won't be able to remember in order to tell me. She is just happy.
Wayne
About 3 weeks ago Christy's blood sugar went up quite high (25.5), they said that the steriods have damaged her pancreas and she has become diabetic. The doctor gave her drugs to control it, then stopped administering it as he realized that it was not consistent with her request. No more blood sugar checks have been made. They say that it would likely spike again and she would go into a coma. This has not happened, she appears to be on a plateau again. There is no evidence of cancer spread to the vital organs. Due to only eating a little fruit here and there, she has now lost what looks to me like all muscle and fat, she is just skin and bones. Other than her head and arms, she cannot move her self in bed, even though she has slight sensory feeling in her legs, there is often pain in her right knee, a large tumor has taken over the knee. Being that she is so thin I can plainly see the tumors on her ribs and arm also. The Lord has somehow enabled me to see her like this without falling apart, I don't understand how He has done this in me, but am very thankful for His mercy. Her spirit is so bright and sweet, no complaints at all. She is sleeping at the moment with a beautiful smile on her face, breaking into a grin at times. She is dreaming of something, I wish I knew what it is... she won't be able to remember in order to tell me. She is just happy.
Wayne
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